Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Kids aren't trophys
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Take a deep breath
Monday, October 11, 2010
It was just a matter of time
I'm sadden because today I watch a video of this 17 year old young girl who has come to the place I feared she may end up.
There are so many thoughts running through my head right now that I don't believe that my fingers can keep up!
Lets set aside that fact that she has grown to be a role model for hundreds of thousands of young girls. Lets set aside the fact that she is this icon. Lets look at her. She's lost, she has been swallowed up by the "machine" of fame and fortune. She has been bred for this. Some may disagree, but I really don't care what you have to say. This girl has fallen victim to the ways of Hollywood and money hungry people. I hesitate to say anything about the parental involvement in her life since I don't know them personally, but where in the Sam Hill are you??
I said when her dad rented out Disney for her 16th birthday that this was wayyyyy too much even for someone who can easily afford it. I said that this is taking her beyond what she is capable of handling. I said that someone, like her parents need to step between her and that world that was grooming her for what I saw today
Did it happen? I don't know? Did they step in and she refused their counsel? Oh wait I don't care she is a young girl! She needed someone to take her by the hand and say enough. I have said this over and over again-parents have to step up to the plate! Get off your duffs and start parenting. Start not caring that little Suzie or Tommy may not like you because you said no to them. Stop caring that you're "that parent" that the others talk about and say how strict you are and you have way too many rules. Who gives a rip! Unless of course you are so sensitive to having you're feelings hurt so you just go along with the flow of stupidity and never make waves
I am all about making waves. I am all about making the hard call knowing that my kid might be in their room making a voodoo doll of my wife and I. We/ I have never cared. You wanna know why, because we love our kids!
Am i saying that her parents don't love her? Am I? Or are they saying it and other parents who choose to let things like this consume their kids. Come on parents, come on Billy Ray.
Today isn't a day to be happy about being right, it's a day that make my stomach sick because I was right.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Metal Erector Sets
Have you seen the commercial where there are kids playing on swing sets, that I bet are actually cemented into the ground, and have all kind of soft material underneath them in case they fall. Well anyway one of the poor children falls, well no it's more like a calculated semi-roll off the sliding board onto the really soft material and all of a sudden the camera swings over to 3 moms who immediately pull out this certain healing anti bacteria, anti e-coli, antivirus antidote, creme, spray and ointment, which I'm not real sure the different between ointment and creme, not important. So now all the moms are ready to go and treat the wounded.
What ever happened to spit on it, rub some dirt in it and climb back up that ladder and slide down again?
Now don't get all up in your feelings especially you mom people. I am being sarcastic, well at least I think I am.
I remember having a metal erector set. For those of you who may have no idea what this is let me describe it to you briefly. It was the most awsomeous (it's a word look it up) and painful toys ever to come on the market. All the parts were 100% American made metal, including all sharp edges for no additional cost. What you would do is build sky scrapers, bridges, rocket ships etc and you would bolt together each and every piece. A real wrench came with it, there were small parts with no warning "choking hazard" signs any where on the box.
I do have to say that I would come away from hours of building structures that went over huge rivers, or towered high into the sky, vehicles which carried spacemen to unknown planets, with fingers that were scratched, pinched and bloody. There was no one there to say "Ahhh you poor thing let me put some..... on it", no you spit on it and moved on. What was stimulated was my imagination and there was also the thought, you know not everything in life is always gong to be easy, and if you ever want to make any king of difference, then your going to get pinched, scratched and bloody. There isn't going to be someone running to your aid, you just have to learn to spit on it and move on. It never stopped me from playing with my erector set, all it did was make me more aware and careful the next time. Falling off the monkey bars onto the rock covered ground didn't stop me or others from climbing back up there and doing it all over again.
Have we moved so far the other way that we have taken the fight out of a generation? Have we been so over protective that this generation lacks feeling pain, good pain, you know the kind, pain that makes you hurt like nothing you have ever felt, but yet there's a satisfaction which builds up inside of you. Why? Simple, you have accomplished something that many wouldn't even try. Your pain is a life lesson that no one else can teach you.
I'm not opposed to better car seats, even though it was always fun as a kid flying from one end of the back seat to the other as your mother took a turn at 30 mph! Superman!!!!! I'm not opposed to soft stuff underneath of playground equipment, maybe just don't use as much concrete so every kid can experience the heart gripping jolt of panic as you think that they whole thing is going to tip over; dude!
I guess what I'm saying, spit on it, rub some dirt on it and live life-we didn't turn out so bad.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
It's not for you
It’s not for you
Why is it that we always think that we deserve whatever we want? Is it because we are under the impression that this life is all out us? Is it because we think that the world really does revolve around us and that this life not matter how long or short should be about us.
Think about it, “This Bud’s for you”, “You only go around once so grab for all you can”, “Have it your way, like there is any other way, duh!”
It’s bred in us, from the moment we wiggle our way out of the womb, it’s all about us. We’re suctioned, cleaned, weighed, measured, put under warm lights (it’s like our very first spa treatment) wrapped in a warm blanket handed over to our mothers, pictures are taken, food is given, diapers once full are now empty. Come on it’s all about us.
We cry in the middle of the night, someone comes running, we fuss and people ask if we are all right, on and on it goes.
No wonder we think that we some how deserve everything we ever wanted.
No wonder we have a world, our world that is constantly looking out for #1, numero uno, me casa not your casa. No wonder a world slips by us and we really haven’t had much of an impact on it, how could we if it’s not about us then move on!
I have an old life, it’s long gone, ok so there are still bits and pieces that float around inside of me and the battle rages everyday to not allow it control, but for the most part it’s gone.
How so you ask, well maybe your not asking, but for those of you who are let me explain. My life changed one night in 1975, March 7th to be exact. On that night I accepted Jesus Christ into my life, I called out and He answered. That night my old life disappeared and I was given a new one with new opportunities, new hope, new everything. One thing that I have learned though is that night is the night my outlook HAD to change. Not an option, not a “well I’m working on it kind of thing”, nope it was a HAVE to change change.
Jesus Christ commands every follower of Him to die to oneself, and to live for Him. Living for Him means serving Him and serving others. It means that your life, my life are not our own. We have given up the control and have willingly turned it over to the one who has given His all for us.
I’ve figured something out, if you want to live a Christian life with the fullness of what God has for you then stop thinking about yourselves. Stop looking at you. Stop focusing on your needs, your desires, and your world. Christianity isn’t for wimps; it’s not some kind of social club with “special” privileges. Christianity is tough, am I loosing you yet. Maybe I should qualify something- Christianity; true, real Christianity is one that should take us to the Cross. Jesus Christ did it, not for Himself, but for me, for you. His life was lived so that men throughout time could know that they are loved because He gave His life for them.
How much of Christianity today is focused on self. How many churches are focused on “playing to the crowd”? How many lives have gone unnoticed and have been lost because “Christians” were too focused on themselves and not those around them? Only eternity will tell us this, but I know one thing I don’t want to be guilty of this. My hearts cry is, “Lord keep me grounded in you, keep me seeking to have your eyes for the world around me. Keep me wanting; longing to leave an impression on this world not of who I am, but who you have been in me.”
Hear me, Christ gave us principles to live by. One of the greatest is- He died, He gave all not for Himself, but for others.
Life lesson- look at how people react to things. In times of great struggle or disaster, there are always people who put aside their own lives; their own pain, injuries whatever and they go to the need of someone other than themselves. In that moment they look beyond themselves, they forget about themselves and all of a sudden the world isn’t all about them. Can we get there? Our churches shouldn’t be just for those inside the walls, our Christianity shouldn’t just be for those who “like” us. Our reach shouldn’t include me me me. It should be, “Lord I’ll be your hands, I’ll be your feet, and I’ll be your lips”.
This isn’t an instant kind of thing, but it is a ‘I’m going to get there kind of thing”.
Remember this isn’t for you-so get moving.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
PMS
PMS, at least for this one time, stands for Parents Must Show. In other words parents you are the chalkboards that young minds learn from. I'm feeling all educational.
So back to PMS. Parenting is modeling, not the kind where way too skinny women/girl people walk down a runway wearing who knows what and looking as if they would eat a pencil eraser if it was handed to them, not that kind.
I'm refer to you, parents. Know this your kids, all kids are big sponges. Their minds are blank slates just waiting to be filled with what they see and hear. Parents you are the first and foremost one to fill their minds, and shape their personality. Now granted every child is born with a personality, but you are the ones who are going to help shape their personality.
We always want our kids to mimic the good things that we say and do, and we gasp when they reflect just the opposite. I'll never forget what a mother told me happened when her 3 year old son was sitting in a shopping cart. He looked over at a older man and said, "Are you one of those old mean people?". Now we all know this feeling don't we? Of course we do, because everyone of us who have children have been there in some way or another.
Now this isn't something that a three year old mind has come up with on their own. Somewhere along the process of educating the brain of this young offspring, someone must have made a comment to the effect that old people are mean. How else would have that have been written on that blank slate? It might have only been one time, but one time is all it takes.
We do effect our kids both good and bad. We must show our kids the proper ways in life and the right ways. We have to be the ones who not just talk a good game, but we live it out in front of their lives.
I had a teacher who by the way will remain completely anonymous, although I will only describe her as a wonderful educator of young lives who is the most caring, understanding, tolerant, patient and compassionate person you would ever want to meet. (Ok you know who you are, I know you read this blog, remember that you are first and foremost a great baker and that it's been awhile, I'm just saying)
So she relates this story to me which I want to pass on to you. This week school started, she teaches 3rd grade. I guess they all sit in a circle and play a word game so that everyone can say their name and what they like. It has to go along with the first letter of their first name. For example, Hi my name is Ann and I like apples, or Hi my name is Bill and I like beef, or Hi my name is Phil and I like to fish.
So they are all in a circle and things are moving right along until a little girl says her first name and then this comes out of her mouth, "I hate German people". Whaaaaat?
The teacher asked why she would say something like that and the girl, now remember she's a 3rd grader, says this, "My Grandmother was in WWll and she hates German people. Now I can only reason that possibly this grandmother was held in a concentration camp and saw horrible things, BUT in my opinion the same thing that caused a nation to think that they were somehow better than any other and which let them justify the murders of millions, now has been inbred into this young mind.
How sad, how wrong. Parents your the key, your the ones who are loading up the minds and hearts of your kids. Parents must show them the way, the right way.
Hang in there and know that good kids don't come by accident. Remember PMS
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
abc FAMILY? what?
To boil a frog, not that I condone such behavior, one must put the frog in a pot of water that has yet to get warm. If you place the frog in there and then turn up the heat eventually the frog will be boiled to death. Now on the other side of things, if the water is boiling and you would put a frog in a pot, the frog would immediately jump out.
Point of story- the ways of this world is to slowly boil us to death.
Last night my wife and I watch a show on, now let me highlight this for you, ABC Family.
Now one might think, gee what loosers-they're watching a kids station, my response to that is, "hey shut up your stupid!".
Anyway back to what I was saying; the show was a new one called; Melissa & Joey. Now I am not going to write about the plot, because that really isn't what is important here. I am writing about how the frog is being boiled and it sure seems like not a whole lot of people are noticing, especially parents. If they are then ABC should be flooded with complaints.
On the two episodes that we watched, back to back by the way. I kept saying to my wife, "this is ABC Family, family really?".
During this so called kids program on a so called family channel the number of swear words was appalling . They weren't just using what one might called, "minor", ones, but ones that when I was a kid everyone one around would have gasped for air! Along with that there was numerous sexual innuendos and continual comments from the two female characters about getting, "taken advantage of and liking it". I could go on and on, but I wouldn't.
The kids of today are being programed more than any other generation by the media. Parents of times gone by had it a whole lot "easier" than those today, in the sense of knowing who and what is shaping their kids lives. Things were clearer back in the day. Today, ABC Family, to me that sounds like a station I could depend upon to air good FAMILY safe programing. NO!
Parents you are the main line of defence for your kids. It's no one's job but yours. In parenting you can never take things as they seem. You must investigate everything that your kid sees, hears and is exposed to. You must. The pot is boiling and the frog is getting weaker. Nothing is happening because so many are in the same pot.
I believe that there is a plan, just so you know I'm not writing this with tin foil on my head so the aliens can't read my thoughts, (I only have it over my ears). The plan is for kids today to be so lax and numb to such things that when they parent the standards are going to be even lower than they are today. So here's a question, whats that going to look like? What are the generations to come going to see are moral and right. Yea maybe I am an old prude and as I have said before I am a dinosaur, but at least I can feel the water getting hotter and know enough to let others know-"hey get your frog out of the pot".
Monday, August 9, 2010
You're shocked, really?
Back in the spring a trainer for a KILLER whale was killed by the animal. We all saw it on the news. If you were like me my heart broke for this trainer’s family. The reports came flooding in about how this trainer ever since she was a young child, all she wanted to do was to work with animals like this. We found out that she was doing what she loved, awesome. Not too soon after this the public cries began. We find out that this KILLER whale had KILLED 2 other people prior to this tragedy. Next we start to hear how this KILLER whale is a KILLER and maybe the KILLER whale should be put down. Question what part of KILLER whale didn't anybody understand?
I was watching a program I believed it is called, "When vacations go bad". Now if you have never seen this show I am sure there are all kinds of thoughts running through your memories of such vacations.
Such as when you booked a hotel room for your honeymoon mainly for 3 reasons. One- it had an ocean view, two- right on the boardwalk, three and not necessarily the most important reason, but it sure would seem like that at the time- $60 cheaper per night than any other hotel room in the area (sign). Only to discover after driving 7 hours you pull up to the address given and see the "hotel". It was above a hot dog/hamburger joint right on the boardwalk, no air conditioning, blinds hanging lopsided flapping in the breeze, but then the "paste De resistance" (that's French by the way) the look on the patrol officers face after you asked him if that was the Sunview Motel and you had booked a room in this "hotel"-priceless.
On this particular episode there were divers feeding a moray eel, (Strophidon sathete), mini hot dogs. The moray eel is soooo cute that the locals have even named her, Molly. Well since this video is on this particular show one can only sit with great anticipation for the "go bad" part to go bad. As this one diver is pulling mini hot dogs out of a Ziploc bag, Molly the moral eel, the eel that is solid muscle and has the brain capacity of a walnut, who by the way also has one very interesting trait:
Moray eels' heads are too narrow to create the negative pressure that most fish use to swallow prey. Quite possibly because of this, they have a second set of jaws in their throat called pharyngeal jaws, which also possess teeth. When feeding, morays launch these jaws into the mouth, where they grasp prey and transport it into the throat and digestive system. Moray eels are the only animal that uses pharyngeal jaws to actively capture and restrain prey. Larger morays are capable of seriously wounding humans.hmmmmm
So here's the bad going bad part. I love this show! Man/knucklehead- was petting Molly as he was hand feeding her the mini hot dogs. Trouble is Molly was a tad hungry this particular day and was rather short on patience. Man/knucklehead couldn't get the mini hot dog out of the bag fast enough. You could see the juice from the mini hot dogs being release into the water and Molly swimming through it. The more she swam through it the more she anticipated another mini hot dog. Man/knucklehead couldn't get it out of the bag fast enough so Molly decided to take charge, and oh boy did she ever. Now understand there is sound on this video. You see Molly turn on man/knucklehead and there is this really loud crunching sound, followed by screaming rapid pulling of the mans/knuckleheads hand, then a red cloud replacing the hot dog juice. Oh the moment! Later they interview the man/knucklehead who had to have his big toe removed so they could attach it for his new thumb which Molly had mistaken for a mini hot dog because said man/knucklehead couldn't get them out of the bag fast enough. He said he was shocked that this happened-what?! You were shocked, really. You really didn't see anything going wrong here? Helen Keller could have seen this one coming!
I could go on and on, but most of you who read this have the same attention span as I, "oh look shiny", so I'll wrap it up. Why are we shocked, why do we ignore the warning signs? Reason we never think that they pertain to us. Is it that we always think that we are beyond such things? So when the warnings we ignore happen we are shocked. Throughout life we are given many warnings and yet we still ignore the signs. We still try to beat the train even though the gates are coming down and the lights are flashing. We speed up when the light turns yellow instead of applying the brakes. We ignore the warning labels on various products that read-causes cancer. We just think that the tightness in our chest and the pain in our left arm is just a pinched nerve. Life has never guaranteed us a second chance; often times you only get one. Signs aren't just there so Mel and his family can hide in the closet with tin foil on their heads.
Pay attention, don't get caught off guard, think before you act and most of all -don't be shocked when something happens if you choose to ignore them.That's all I have to say on this.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
28,000
Friday, July 30, 2010
SUV's are bad
I once read something to the effect that the generations that go before us are to leave a legacy, a path for the next generation to follow. This path is to lead them towards a better life and greater things than what they had. Sad to say, but I'm really not seeing this much.
One of the biggest failures I see of my generation is that we haven't really fought hard enough for this current generation. Please note that when I say fight I mean fight. Maybe you know what I'm talking about. Sad to say many of you will not because somewhere along the line "fighting" has turned into an evil thing sort of like SUV's.
Ok keep up, you might be thinking what, SUV. Look anytime there is an accident involving an SUV. look at how it is reported- "Today an SUV was involved in an accident!",. it's almost evil in a sense, there is this impression that this SUV drove itself and was out hunting for prey. How come they never say, "Today a 4 door sedan or a mini van was involved in an accident!". Oh no a SUV, right away we come to the conclusion- SUV's are bad.....
Same thing with fighting- it has taken on a evil context so no one really likes to talk abbot it. My opinion/ as I see it is we have soften things up so much that the world and all it's influences have been given an open invitation to rob us of this generation of youth. How? Simple-I never see the world's influences backing down. I never see drugs, alcohol, gangs, violence backing down, in fact I see it gaining steam. Why shouldn't it? I mean really we stand by and let a generation slip though our hands because we are afraid to act or we simply choose to ignore the problem and believe that everything will simply work out for the best. Look at us.
Yea look at us. We didn't turn out that bad, but I must say I don't know about you, but I know the way I grew up- things weren't simply left alone. I had parents, even though they were divorced who would get up in my grill. I had neighbors that had no problem busting my chops and then taking me home to let my parents add to the "life lesson". I had teachers that I feared, yes feared, because i knew that they were in control and God help anyone who thought different.
I look at all this and think, they all had a part in shaping me, the key is they weren't afraid to step in for a fight. I believe that those who did that for me and for others did so because they saw the value in fighting for us. Was it because our parents were products of war. They saw that somethings are simply worth fighting for. They knew what the consequences would be if they did nothing. So they did something.
Parents do something! Parents fight for your kids! Parents take responsibility and quit looking for excuses of why you can't.
Fighting for your kids is one fight you should never run away from, nor; and I know this might be upsetting to you "time out" people, should you wait around for the world and it's influences to throw the first "punch". Take a more aggressive approach- fight for them.
Back to the opening sentence. Today was one of those days, here's why.
Today I had a great time but at the same time it was saddening to me. Let me explain. For the past 24 years I have been speaking in the public schools, doing various assemblies on various topics. When I go into a school I know that the things I have to say will strike a nerve and it may take sometime for it to sink in, but I believe that this generation is worth telling the truth to.
This morning I had my first school of the '10-'11 school year. Today I was at a facility that houses 45 young men. It is a mandatory facility and program ordered by the courts. Many are there for 6-9 months minimum. They are there because of substance abuse, alcohol, criminal violations etc. Today I spoke before a great bunch of young men. Now if you had been there with me you might have thought differently, but anytime I speak to young people I see the good, the positive the potential. Now please know this, that doesn't mean that they weren't at times knuckleheads, because they were, but I saw something in their eyes. That something was, hey tell me the truth, don't hold back, yea I'm not going to like it, but are you willing to fight for me anyway; that look.
So I did, and that's' where I can say that it was a great time. The sad part was seeing these young men with their lives in a shambles, a few I met are already fathers with small children, I wondered what their kids are going to step into. The world had lied to them, they believed all that they were told. Did anyone step in front of them to fight off the worlds influence? I wonder. Are there parents in the picture that are more concerned about their kids than their issues? I wonder.
Hearing the staff tell me that their biggest concern is when these young men go home- what kind of support system is there for them.
It's time to take the gloves off, the world has fought that way for a long time. It's time to beieve once again in a generation, this generation.
Always remember they are worth fighting for, they really are.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Dial 911
Kids don't come with direction as far as a written booklet, but for sure kids need direction.
A child is designed (by God) to grow and flourish in an atmosphere of love. Love is translated in many different ways but one of the most important ways is through the giving of direction.
Imagine going on a trip to a place you have never been. Imagine going without looking at any map. How lost would you be?? I know people who get lost as their GPS is shouting, turn here stupid!
Anyway-you wouldn't do such a thing because if you have no direction you'll never arrive at your destination, your goal.
Kids are this way-they need direction so they can achieve all that they should, which by the way is to their fullest potential. They need aimed in the right direction so they can get to where they have to go. Directions, correction, encouragement is what kids need, and especially teens.
When there are directions given, kids have a feeling of security. Please note: I have never met a young person/teen who is excited about you giving direction nor have I ever met one who hangs on your every correction-but it doesn't matter they still need them. If they do say something to this effect- "Oh Mom, oh Dad, you’re the best! I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me correction and giving me direction all of which my friends are not receiving and they are getting to do stupid things, while I on the other hand am not-THANK YOU. If this occurs, dial 911-your having an aneurysm!
No one likes direction to be given to them. Adults don't like it. Watch the face of someone who has been pulled over for speeding, all the officer is trying to do is give them directions (even if it is to the nearest courthouse or ATM), but its still direction.
As parents we need to give our children directions even when they think that they have it all figured out. We need to care enough about them to look them in the eye and say this is how it’s going to be. Now if you attempt to start this for the first time in their adolescent years, good luck-be prepared for some serious battles. The reason, simple this should have started when the day they were born. I'm not saying it’s too late, "it's too late baby now it's too late though we really did try and make it", sorry I regressed, digressed???? No I just heard that line of that song in my head and had to get it out.
If your kids are older, remember back with me. Remember when the nurse took your child and measured them, weighed them, took their footprints, (I guess that makes sense since there are so many crimes committed with peoples feet) they then wrapped them in one of those receiving blankets nice and tight and handed them back to you. My first thought was; "hey he looks like a piece of cord wood", but again that's just me. There was that little life all nice and snug-they were safe. Now remember when you would unwrap them. I used to grab one end and pull spinning them like a top, oh the fun, kidding! Their little arms went way out as if they had been startled by something, that sense of security was now gone, they were out, exposed, literally.
Directions are to a pre-teen/teen as that security blanket is to an infant. There is place and a need for them, parents let's figure them out.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Pro Athlete
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Where's the instructions?
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Friend or Parent- it's you call
Let me say this first, Teens need parents, real parents, not parents that are trying to relive their forgotten years through their kids, or wanting to be a friend to their kid. Real live, actively involved even if your uninvited or underappreciated parents.
So here's my acronym:
P- I'm
A- not
R- you're
E- friend
N- because I
T- love you
F-I
R- don't
I- care
E- let's
N- go to
D- the mall
Parenting is not easy. Remember when they were first born, you thought that was tough. I mean there were those sleepless nights, diapers to change, formula to make and baths to be given. You never thought that there would be any life after children. Then they start to grow, walk, feed themselves, even get dressed, you think that you have reach the easy stretch of parenting. Well guess again, you are just about to enter the most difficult time of parenting you will ever face.
Those same eyes that looked up at you as you feed them are now going to be glaring at you when you tell them no. Those same arms that reached out to grab your neck, well they are still reaching out but to choke you instead of hug you because you told them that they no longer can hang with so and so because you don't like them.
I know this might seem a bit grim, I'm not trying to be, I'm just being honest.
See love is more than a spoken word, it's caring and it's action, meaning that you are going to have to make the tough calls. You're going to feels sharp pains in your back in the middle of the night, only to discover the next morning from where the pains came from. You enter you teens room and there you find a doll in your image in your teens room with needles sticking all through it!
Parenting is loving your kids even when they don't want to love you back or they don't care if you love them at all. Granted some kids never feel this way, I'm sure. Those kids are secretly brainwashed by their parents and have no emotions at all, (hmm not a bad idea). Love none the less is what has to motivate you to remain their parent and not their friend.
See a parent will make the hard calls; a friend will only say what their friend wants to hear. Parents your kids have enough friend's they need a parent who is going to stand in the gap, who is going to make the unpopular call and who most of all will love them till your last breath.
More to come.....
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
You're the parent
I get that look a lot, no not just from my family when I say things like, "Hey you 3 ADULT children, mom and I are done buying you Christmas presents!” ah nothing like that Christmas feeling.
Anyway, I get that look a lot from parents when I talk to them about raising kids. Now before you get the wrong impression, my wife and I are not perfect parents and we do not have perfect kids. We are parents who did our best and never allowed this parenting thing to slip into autopilot. We have three grown children who I'm sure as time goes on and they think that the statute of limitations is over, that they will begin to share stories of what they got away with. The trouble with that is, I still can and will chase them down the street in a large motor vehicle!
I don't have a bunch of initials after my last name, not that there is anything wrong with that, me I'm more the school of life kind of person, my wife too. We read books as we raised our kids, I must admit, that we never read one unless it was written by someone who had kids of their own. Call me crazy, and believe me the voices sometime do, but I'm more the, “it's easy to talk a good game, but show me the reality of it all, put it into action kind of person”.
I have worked with teens now for 30 years, man that's weird putting that into writing, but none the less it's been that long. Working with teens, speaking in the schools, helping police departments, have given me the opportunity to see things from many different perspectives, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that raising kids is not for the weak of heart or for those who can't see beyond themselves. Raising kids is a battle, a fight, not you vs. the offspring, but you against this world that wants a village to raise your kids instead of you. Now I do agree that others do have an influence on your kids, but they should be influences that complement your parenting, not go against it or replace it. You’re the parent!
So here is where the head tilting thing starts to happen as I speak to parent’s one on one or in parent presentations. I hear their thoughts, well OK i don't hear their actual thoughts; I don't have that particular super power, although I can wiggle my ears. Their thoughts though are expressed all over their face. Their brow crunches, eyes start to squint, the head tilts, shoulders start to raise up. All classic signs of them saying, "are you for real, who let you in here!".
I wish I didn't see that look as much as I do, but sad to say it happens more and more all the time and the older I get the more I see it. Parents hear me, there is a war for your kids. This world is just waiting to snag your child and before you know it the tentacles have engulfed them. Parenting can't be approached as if there is an easy answer to all that you'll face, because there are no easy answers and no easy solutions, that's why it's called parenting and not friending (is that a word?). Key is, don't run from the fight, stand and stand strong. I'll write more as time goes on.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Free
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Bugs where are you?
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Adam & Eve on a Raft
Now before you try to get a mental picture of two people with figs leaves and NO belly buttons on a raft in the middle of the ocean, slipping on axle grease with some guy named Joe (by the way where did he come from?) hanging on for dear life as he spills a bowl of birdseed and accidently catches someone from Britain on fire, let me explain.
I think it would be so cool to have a diner, you know the kind, or maybe you don’t because they are getting few and far between.
I’m talking the kind where the coffee is hot and flows without limits, the place where the waitress calls you honey, the plates are heavy with chips & cracks from years of use, the food, oh my the food. It’s like nothing you have ever had; it’s what brings you back time and time again. The interesting thing about any of these types of diners that I have found is this; the food is never pretty, but man is it good!
Here’s what I mean. I have on occasions gone to let’s call them “fancy” restaurants. I’m not a big “fancy” restaurant person; all I care about; is the food good. Anyway here we are at this one restaurant with menus that have no prices on them (what’s that about!) I order my food only after I made the waiter get me a menu with the prices. We waited for about 10 minutes before the salads showed up. Now I’m not a big salad eater, so when I saw that the salad consisted of 3 pieces of lettuce, a very small tomatoes, some stick things stacked as if you’re going to build a fire, on an oversized plate, I thought, well no big deal maybe they ran out of the smaller plates and had to use these big ones instead, because common sense says this little green thing doesn’t need a plate this big.
Finally after the “salad” was finished we sat and waited for the main course. Now by this time I’m ready to eat. The waiter comes out of the kitchen headed our way, my thought, “yes here it comes. For what I am about to pay, that plate should be almost impossible for him to carry, but he’s doing a fine job! I stood up so I made sure he could see where I was, I almost shouted “Here I am!” but my inner voice said no, ok it wasn’t my inner voice it was my wife’s and it had the tone that carried consequences with it.
As the food approached the table I could see that it was under a metal domed lid. I’m thinking radioactive, why else cover it with metal, but at this point who cares!
The waiter puts the plates with the domes in front of my wife and me then with great flare he lifts the lids and we get the first view of our meal, I could swear I heard music playing as he lifted the lids to expose what? Hey where’s my food? I’m staring down at this large plate but there’s a speck on it, right in the center. There is a brown speck with some green stuff surrounding it highlighted with some kind of red stuff made into designs all around it. Almost as if they are pointing me to where the food is, the brown speck wasn’t a speck it was my food. I took my spoon and scooped up my food, chewed maybe 3 times and swallowed, that was it, done, over.
At this point I thought my stomach was going to revolt, like how dare you tease me! Needless to say we skipped dessert and marked that one off our list of “favorites”.
I remember the old diners, I remember the waitress’ yelling back to the cooks with some kind of codes, and all you saw was the cook nodding his head and never looking up so he could keep cranking out the food, and I mean food, lots and lots of food. Here’s the point, the food never was “pretty”, no one had to put designs on your plate to show you where it was, you knew it because you saw it and it didn’t matter what it looked like you knew that it was going to be good.
Maybe that’s why we don’t want to hear about the sacrifice that Christ made for us. Maybe it’s not pretty enough, you know that whole cross thing. Two pieces of wormwood lashed together dropped in a hole on top of a garbage dump, with the Savior of the world, who has been brutally beaten, mocked and spit upon hanging there by nails through his hands and feet; blood flowing down His face because of a crown of thorns, maybe that’s not pretty enough for us. We are always looking to make things pretty when in reality things aren’t as pretty as they seem. Oh yea they may look good, but they have nothing inside. Sin isn’t pretty, our sin. My sin, the sin of man is not pretty, but the most beautiful sight of all is the blood stained cross. I don’t want pretty, I want forgiven and forgiven I am. Thanks God for “filling” my plate!
So let me get back to Adam & Eve on a raft before I close. Remember the “code” words, well here is what they mean let’s see how well you did: Adam & Eve on a raft- two poached eggs on toast. Axle grease- butter. Baby-glass of milk. Joe-come on you know this one-coffee. Birdseed- bowl of cereal. Burn the British-an English muffin toasted. Ok I got to go- I need a Pittsburgh
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Fingers off the keys
So I just came back from being with an IT guy for almost 2 hours. For those of you who might be wondering if IT is a generic name for someone the answer is no. For those of you who might be thinking that I have been watching too much Adams Family (Cousin It), the answer again is no. In fact I was always more of a Munsters kind of guy.
So back to the story. I was with this Internet Technician (IT) because we have been trying to get sermons uploaded to the church website, www.fc7.org, and have been unable to do so. For the life of me I as well as others more tech savvy than I had a hard time figuring it out also. So here is where Kyle the IT guy comes in.
Our website needed its "embedded" code rearranged. Now when he said that to me all I could think about is, "Man that's got to hurt!"
He of course being an IT guy/expert, says to me, "No need to worry, I'll take care of it". For the next 35 minutes I sat in a really nice leather, reclining, high back, super padded conference chair and rocked back and forth. After a bit I did start to get a bit nauseous, so I moved on to more skilled forms of wasting time.
I then took my pen and with my head leaned the whole way back attempted to balance it on the bridge of my nose. I must say that I achieve this in short time, so on to the next. I now tried to balance it on the bridge of my nose but with my head in full forward position, now this was a challenge!
Kyle, the IT guy sat right next to me typing away in his own special little code things. t2><>%@)9why?!2is>/this<#guy/-doing{^balancing\#apen&$on\#his*)(nose?
I watched as he went from screen to screen, box to box, line by line, clicking, adding, subtracting symbols and letters as if they were written out in plain English. Every now and then I would reach over to touch the keys and he would calmly ask me to remove my fingers from the keys and leave the work to eh professional, (show off!)
To me just a bunch of jumbled nonsense.
I was reminded of something, here we are, humans thinking that we have our lives all figured out and we know what’s best for us. Yet what we fail to see or acknowledge is the fact that our internal code needs to be rearranged by the One who made us. Scripture says that "He knitted us together in our mother's womb", He formed us by His hands. Not a single one of us are here by mistake even though there are many times we see no sense of why we are here. Yet, God knows us and He knows how to bring us back to the place that our embedded code is up for the plans He has for us. Always remember He can only do as much as we allow Him to.