Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Kids aren't trophys

Recently I had some time to sit back and people watch. Ok the truth of the matter is this, I was at the mall, yes the mall! Not there on my own, in fact I cannot remember the last time I was there by myself, and that's ok by me.
So back to the story, I'm sitting in the main square of the mall just watching people. Alright, I was trying to read a book but then my ADD & ADHD & my IREALLYGETDISTRACTEDEASILYESPECIALLYWHENTHEBOOKHASNOPICTURES kicked in. So i decided not to fight it anymore, I mean it was a whole 3 1/2 minutes, and started to people watch.
If you have never done this you really should try and if your saying that you never do that I have one word for you-liar!
Let me clarify this though, I'm talking about just watching for a moment then moving on to the next subject, if this is not the case and your spending too much time on one subject may I be so bold as to describe you as creepy!
Ok, now to the point of this dissertation, wait did that just fall out of my brain, ummm yes it did, wow I'm even impressed.
A family walked by me, a husband and wife and their adopted child about 2 years old. Now you might be wondering, Steve seriously how could you possibly know that their child was adopted. Well I am trained in the art of observation, first thing was that the child was much smaller than them. Second the man was bald and the child had hair. Third the parents weren't Chinese.
So I watched this family unit and the longer I watched the more irritated I became. Why be a parent if your going to be irritated by everything that your child does. I mean there are times that they drive you a bit bonkers, but those hopefully are passing uneventful moments.
Not the case here. Now picture this, you have a 2 year old tiny little girl child person in the mall during the Christmas season which for most children and easily distracted adults this is stimuli overload wanting just to see and touch everything you can.
You have two parents who were more concerned about their double frap-o-cheena-than they were about really being parents. They went straight from asking the child to move on to screaming at her. Meanwhile I am watching the whole demeanor of the parents especially the mom-it was one of disgust and being completely irritated with this little person who not only was their daughter but these 2 people paid an awful lot of money to have this child (cost of an overseas adoption).
After a period of this nonsense going on they moved their little "idiotic parent" show on to a different part of the mall.
As I am leaving my wife and I are walking through a store and low and behold who do I see, the disgusted, irritated no parenting skills dimwits. This time the infraction was over putting on of a coat. As this went on, people walked by shaking their heads because they saw what I am describing. It was really sad. note: just for the record if they were not abusing the child or anything to that fact.
This really made me think about; do people really understand how selfless parenting really is. Do people really count the cost when they are deciding to have children, or do they walk around with child in arm or in those fancy strollers sort of displaying them as simply trophy's?
I hate to say it but I am seeing more and more parents who have no idea what they are doing let alone are they even prepared to raise children.
I'm going to state something that might not sit real well with some, oh boy I'm really going to have a tough time falling asleep tonight!
Becoming a parent or parents is a choice. Yes it is. No one just wakes up one day and has a child. From what I have read and from personal experience there are certain actions that are required for such an event to happen.
So to put it bluntly, any time you have sex be prepared to have a child. If your not prepared to take on that responsibility then A. don't have sex, B. To quote Bob Barker-have yourself spayed or neutered.
Parents always remember this, your kid didn't ask to come into this world you did that, so you owe it to them to be parents who care, who love unconditionally and who are willing to do whatever it takes to see them grow into who they are to be.
It makes me sick to see children displayed as some kind of trophy. I mean its not like you just climbed Mt Everest, or found a cure for cancer, this is a child, a life. Your to raise that child. if your going to be irritated by this concept don't have children. Don't even adopt a child if your only going to make that child's life worse than it already is.
Remember they are children not trophy's.

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